I'm BACK from National Service

Its been a very long period I didn’t log into here. Anyway , seems like everything still doing well, nothing much difference, just some of my friends already left for their further studies and some of them on their way too…and me, still hesitating where to drop on, hopefully the results pop out faster than it should….=)

Well, NS life has changed me a lot in direct ways and also in indirect ways. I’m very proud that I got that opportunity to be one of the trainee in this programme.. I still remember that the first night I was there , I felt suffered for the whole night because I thought that I couldn’t survive even for a night , then how about for two and the half months? Anyway, after a week, I used to be, gaining friends from that day no matter what race or religions, attending classes and activities….

There’s a bit different from my hometown because their working days are from Sunday to Thursday but this give me no deal, haha. Working days we have to wake up at around 5.30a.m. because we have to to be at marching court on sharp 6.15a.m. We will do sing national anthem, NS song and some other morning physical training(PT) such as stretching, warm-up, jogging, jumping and so on…that’s y we were having cheerful morning every single day at there…I miss it…I do really…

After physical training session , we will have our morning breakfast at 7.30a.m. which before our class at 8.30a.m. There are four companies in NS which are ALPHA(which was mine) , BRAVO , CHARLIE and DELTA. For classes, in these four companies, we will be divided again into five Character-Building class which known as CB class. These classes has two section which were how to change yourself by yourself and also how are you going to change yourself from other people…this class really good for changing someone’s attitude if that someone do really focus on it. Then we also have Kenegaraan class, sex education class, traditional literature class, anti-drugs class and so on…

In afternoon, we have lots of outdoor activities, for example , marching, hiking , trekking, navigation knowledge, learn how to survive in jungle, canoeing, camping , flying fox, high element, shooting, swimming , mixes martial arts(MMA), cross country, sports, and many many more( I couldn’t list all out too sudden) LOL! I felt great because I did all these activities because some of these activities I’m afraid that I just only could play it once in my life…I’m proud with myself somehow haha..

Weekends probably we will be in the temple and listen to what we should listen as we were Buddhists. Proud with it. Some days we been with some activities like went for Gotong-royong programmes or do charity job…anyway, its kind of good behaviour….=)

Erm, I’m back now, I missed those days, but every beginning has an ending, what I need to do now is to strive forwards to see my future days.. I shall be prepared to face coming challenges. University will be the main task for me but in this also I’m having a big frustration..sigh…well, I won’t give up on this as I want to be a successor in future. I believe those people will change their view to me after somehow especially my family and my friends. Besides that, I still have something that I don’t know whether that I should go to ask for it again or not because I don’t wish to bring weird situation between me and her but what I could say is I’ll never go for other as I promised . I wish I can have that day, if not, I will just bow down my head to God as she happy will do. =)

My Last Post before NS

Well,
Whatever that I need to do , I already did...
Whatever that I need to go through , has been gone through...

So now,
Eventhough I just will be leaving for 3 months,
I know that I will miss out a lot of things,
Sometimes I feel regrets whenever I've wasted opportunities...

I really having problem with myself,
I have a lot of things to tell you but I'm not able to so ,
Because I don't dare tell you ,
I'm afraid you don't like it or it will just spoil your mood,
So I remain silent...

Yesterday night,
I was asking myself why I can't just tell or confess whatever I want to tell,
Finally I've found the answer,
and The answer was '' I don't ever want to hurt you"
so chose not to tell you...

I'm not sure whether am doing the right thing or not...
but I hope that I'll never do mistake or something that might hurt your feelings,
Eventhough I didn't get the right answer from you but I promise
I'll wait till the day for 2nd attempt...

I don't care whatever answer u give me,
I'll just keep on waiting,
because the more I wait ,
the more closer we are...

Whenever we having conversation,
I always failed to link our conver to that particular situation ,
but I promise there will be an apportunity for us again...

After N.S, there's only 1 thing I hope for,
which is I dare to prove you that I really sincere to you..
I don't want to stay like that anymore,
because I know the ending won't be nice...

Shall I just pretend nothings happened?

Sometimes I feel that making friends in this era is kinda hard,
Some friends will appreciate what you did and some not,
Well, I never wish whether that people appreciate whatever i did to him or not,
I just do whatever my heart told me,
So I shouldn't thinking more than that now...

I wish to pull back but as a guy,
I told myself,
whenever u let bait go, just let it be,
don't pull it back till you gt the fish...

Today I realise that sometimes people won't appreciate whatever u did...
but if u feel like you are doing the right thing,
just keep it on...

Sigh, I really feel ashamed...
but I still myself...
He really spoilt my day...=[

To someone with all my trust

Hey girl , I can predict that when you are reading this post, I'm no longer in Penang .
but if I were lucky enough , you are reading this while I'm still here...
If really you doing so, I want to tell you that I really wish to meet you once again before I leave in any relationships...It could be friends, good friends or better one....
Actually it just 3 months but it could meant a lot to me....because it takes time...

I tell you what, to be honest , I'm not good in this matter,
but I can tell you whatever I told you that day , It's a truth...
Actually I very happy whenever I expressed that ...
but after somehow I feel that it was not success enough...
No matter how, I'll accept whatever answer you give me...

This matter can't success in rapid way...it takes time right?
Waiting for the right time rite?
OKay...=)
I hope I can see something that brings hope~!

I just want to tell you that no matter what happened to me, I'll stick to my plan and waiting for that right time...
I promise!
I really hope that day will happen
and I'll wait...

Please..I shall pray more...
because of You,
I found the sun in my heart and shine myself
so
U're meant a lot to me...=)

If things doesn't go well, it's okay, we are still good friends...Don't worry ^^
All I hope to see is your happy smiley..
If you happy , that will do...
because the most important thing in this matter is to see their partner happy...=)

After somehow , I've returned ! with NEW LIFE! =)

After these few months , I've found that there were so many changes in my life...
I make more friends,
I met more problems,
and I got myself better...

Erm, shall we just forget my previous posts?
I guess I need to do so because I really need to wake up from that nightmare!
NO MORE NIGHTMARE CHEE WOON , NO MORE!

What I need to have now is STRONG Heart and WISE Brain!
Every mistakes can be overcomed by new success!
I need to work hard and tackle all the problems that I could face every single day!

By the way , I need to apologize to everyone that has been hurt by my angerness and stubborn-minded..
Dad, even you never show me the right way of being a better guy, but I promised to u now that I will be the best guy...
I know that actually you always concerning on me but you does it in a wrong way...
It's fine Dad! I'm sorry...really sorry, no matter who you are, you are my dad...
Mom has been travelled far away from us and I know that no matter how, we couldn't find her anymore...but 1 thing that she can't run away from us, we're a family....I love you guys....

FAMILY= Father And Mother I Love You!

I can't deny that...without you guys, what is me? I'm sorry...=(

This could be my very last post...???

Happy and sad moment is over...
No matter how, sun will be risen again and again on tomorrow,
I should know that 21st Feb 2011 could be my ever worst day in my life,
expectedly its a truth, I almost get the qualification to enter university..
The minimum requirement to enter IPTA is at least we must get 2.00 for three subjects included Pengajian Am....
Unfortunately I just got 2 B's and a C but its a C- which was accounting...
The worst nightmare for me is Economics ...until today I still can't accept it ...Its a D+!!!!
This is horrible...I never expect I could get this king of gred...It should be at least B....It couldn't be D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What to do? We can't change the fact....
Anyway I am still good enough to apply for University...hopefully Someone up there bless me so that I got that luck to enter IPTA...
I wish I can get a good news otherwise I'll be take a big rish which is retake my STPM by the end of this year....
Sigh, its horrible...and its embarrassed to face the world and every people theres always around me...
Mum, I'm sorry...really very sorry, My promise came with an empty paper....

I feel like give up and rest in peace.....I never live in peace in this family...

No people understand about me.....

Im gonna retake it !~ I can't face myself without a success...

I will stay far far from people....

what a SHAME??

This could be my very last post....

If I ever make someone or anyone who read this upset, Im sorry !

I will only return after I success...sorry my dear frens...

Will this be my last ever post in Blogger?

As usual , seldom update my blog...
Today, I realised that I really just a piece of plain paper when I read my own blog from other ppl post...
I think this will be my very last post because feel like stop my life at here...
I hate to argueing with myself
I hate the feeling of missing or loving someone just I know that I couldn't make even a single move...
I know we will never success if we never try...The past two pathetic hopes are enough to make me afraid of trying to love someone,...
I don't even know what I'm bullshitting about actually...but I know now I have a feeling on someone...
but....

I don't know what to do...
Don't even know how to face myself...
Pathetic case~

Maybe miracle can happen before I leave for NS...

Maybe after NS , I should landing somewhere else as long not in Penang...